Baby Shiveley

Hello family and friends! I am finally going to be writing about our little expected miracle. Just a little background, back in November we suffered a terrible and painful (physically, emotionally, and mentally) miscarriage. We were definitely not prepared to endure such a challenge. However we are grateful to have gone through it together. After a lot of thought and prayer, Spencer and I talked about trying right away to continue our family. At first I was a little weary about the thought of maybe having to go through another miscarriage, but was reassured that all would be well. I had to put a lot of faith in my Heavenly Father and allow him to help me get through my insecurities. Shortly after my miscarriage I felt that what had happened really was my fault. I let myself believe that I wasn’t fit to be a mom, that my diabetes was not going to allow babies to come to our family, and that I had let a lot of people down. Unfortunately with all of the hormone changes so quickly I lost about 10 pounds and really was not feeling well. It wasn’t until I saw my Endocrinologist, not quite a month after our loss that I realized how much weight I had lost. When my doctor came into the room that I was in, he immediately said “Kacey are you ok? You are so skinny now.” In all honestly I don’t know how or why I lost that much weight, but I knew it wasn’t good. Fully clothed I weighed less than I had in middle school. Anyway, I had taken the time to reflect on what I was eating and how I was exercising. I even looked at all of my blood sugars since our loss. I was doing everything right, but somehow, my body was still recovering from that trauma. Again, I allowed myself to think that I was doing everything all wrong. After praying harder than I ever had in my life, I was overcome with peace, and was given a very clear answer of “Kacey you went through a very hard thing, it is natural on how your body is reacting. You are doing everything right. Please continue to be patient.”

While I was in the ER, the day I miscarried, I was told that my menstrual cycle should start in 20-27 days after I stopped bleeding. Sure enough, like clockwork, I started bleeding 20 days after I had stopped bleeding. It was the first period ever that I remember crying tears of joy. It was seriously the biggest answer to my prayers and made me feel that things were going to be okay after all. I had no idea how long it would take for us to get pregnant, I actually thought it would take months to get pregnant. Spencer and I had talked about our time line, before our first pregnancy that we would try for one year. If in that year we did not become pregnant, I would focus all of my efforts on getting into OT school and nothing else. I had no idea that we would get pregnant just over one month after we lost our first baby. When I saw that “Pregnant” on a test that I had randomly bought and kept around, I almost passed out.

Some may ask, did you know you were pregnant? No. I had not a single clue that I was pregnant. One thing I did know is that I kept having dreams about me holding a baby. Another thing, is that suddenly my blood sugars were going crazy. I was in very tight control during the holidays and the weeks following, then boom. Things changed. I was a week before my period should have started and I thought, why the heck not pee on a stick. It’s probably nothing, I bet you just got a bad batch of insulin. The test came back nice and clear and positive. I could not believe what I was looking at. I couldn't wait to tell Spencer. The next day I bought more tests, two different brands. Every other day for a week and a half I took a test and all came back positive. It was funny literally the day after I took my last test, I got waayy sick. I had all of the common symptoms at once hit me. I had terrible acne, headaches, sore boobs, and terrible morning/all day sickness. It got to the point that even looking at food made me go green. All I wanted was popcorn, eggs, and ice water. I felt so bleh and knew right away that something was different about this pregnancy.

Let’s fast forward to week six (I had taken and received a positive test, 3 weeks prior). I was at work (this was a Tuesday) and started spotting. Spotting enough to make me worried that I was going to have to go through the same thing as I did with our first. I got a little panicked because this time there was no cramping or severe pain, just brown blood. The remainder of the day, I played phone tag with my doctor trying to figure out what I needed to do. My doctor wanted me to get some blood work done to see if that would detect anything, as we tracked it for two days, two different blood draws. As soon as my shift was over I raced to my doctor’s. While in the waiting room, I prayed really hard. I asked my sisters, sisters-in-law, my mom, my mother-in-law to pray for me (without telling them what really was going on). Unfortunately I had to wait 40 minutes to get my blood drawn, which made everything worse. After getting my blood drawn, I was told to come back on Thursday or Friday to re-evaluate. Early that evening, I had completely stopped spotting, like nothing had ever happened. The next day, I got a message from my doctor. I couldn't think of a reason why they would be calling me after only one draw, unless they had bad news. I prepared myself for the worst and was anticipating unfortunate news. However, the nurse who I spoke with was chipper when I called back, I knew that it wasn’t going to be that bad. She laughed and said, “You are definitely pregnant. You Hcg levels were so high, we are sure you are not miscarrying. Your levels read 147,000 mg!” She laughed again, and said, “Now there are a few things that could indicated levels this high, one you might be further along than you think, and two there could be a chance you are pregnant with multiples.” I was laughing so hard tears were welling in my eyes. I couldn't even respond. We concluded that if there was more spotting to come in right away, but for now wait until my appointment, which was two weeks away! The thought of having twins seriously got to me, but I never had “that feeling” that it was.

Over the next few weeks, my pregnancy symptoms got stronger, I got way more tired, way more moody, gassy, more acne, more cravings. I had several dreams that it was just one baby, not more than one. Still the whole twin thing kept running through my mind. Finally the day of my appointment arrived. I left work and even combated the U of U’s parking garage (for those of you who have been there, you know what I am talking about). The last time I had my first appointment was very different. From the start of this appointment, I was calm, and so happy. Spencer, I thought was going to miss it, but as soon as he walked in, they called me back. Ahh the butterflies, the nerves, the excitement all started. I climbed up on the bed and Katrine, my sonographer was the most pleasant person I have ever met. She gooped me up and barely even touched my belly and I saw my baby. I had a lump in my throat and started laughing. After some quick measurements, we finally got to see our little one. The words “Holy cow there is something actually in there this time!” were shared. I couldn't stop staring at that little one. We nicknamed it our gummy bear because of how it looked. We saw the heart beat for a good couple of minutes. I was overwhelmed with happiness. We got so many pictures taken. We even got a little wave from our little bear. It was a day I hope to never forget.

My cute Spencer read up on all of the pamphlets that were given. We talked to the MA, the NP and my OB that day. We had several vials of blood work taken (5 to be exact, and I didn't even get dizzy!!), and lots of urine samples. By the way all turned out wonderful.

Now... Not to continue rambling (if you have made it to this point I applaud you!). Diabetes and pregnancy is no joke. It is SO SO challenging. Forcing yourself to eat when you don't feel well (thanks a lot low blood sugars). Having no control over blood sugars, being overwhelmed by the tight control you actually have to have and testing at least 9 times a day, even with a continuous glucose monitor. I have been the lowest I have ever been in my life (31 mg/dl). So far, I have had to decrease my basal rates so low that it seems like I am not taking any insulin at all. I can eat like a normal person it seems like (a lot of sugar anyway) and drop low in 10 minutes after I eat. I go through a pack a juice boxes in less than a week, and usually have to have two during the night. Even with all the extra juice, low blood sugars, and testing blood sugars... it is so worth it. We love you baby Shiveley and can't wait for September to come around! 

I am 12 1/2 weeks! 

Go forth and Do!