I wanted to take a minute to write my sweet Evelyn a letter, as our lives will shortly change by adding a new baby. It's rather personal, but I feel that one day I will look back on this and be grateful I wrote down some thoughts.
My Sweet, Sweet Evelyn,
You recently turned two, and my heart burst with how much you have grown up. You have surpassed all my expectations as my first born and continue to amaze me. Evelyn, you are the oldest of our little family and honestly I had no idea how much I needed you. You came into my life at the perfect moment, and I wouldn't change it for the world. When Daddy and I started to try to bring you into this world, you didn't come as quick as we would have liked. However, after the loss of a previous baby, we knew you would be well worth the wait to fill our broken hearts. You changed our lives the second we found out we were pregnant with you. Looking back, I had such an easy pregnancy with you. Even after a traumatic birth, making your entrance into this crazy world, one to never forget, I fell in love with you even more the moment I saw you. Your chubby cheeks and monkey hair are just some of my favorite things from your infancy. You set high expectations for your sister though. Your first night home you slept for 6 hours straight and slept for 10 hour stretches at 4 weeks old. You were perfect.
It was a tough decision to put you in daycare for the first 9 months of your life, but honestly, that is how I feel you and I became so close. When I decided to stay at home to start a different journey and do a career change, you became the biggest joy in my life (not that you weren't before, but this was different). I was able to watch you grow, teach you things, and play with my own personal baby doll. Since it was you and me most of the time, you became my best friend, and I missed you when I had to put you to sleep. I looked forward to each and every day I was gifted to spend with you.
As my first, you taught me more than I ever knew I needed to learn. You were there for me when no one else was. You let me cuddle you, nurse you, sing (very off tune might I add) you to sleep. You let me talk about my frustrations about being an adult, going through losses, and my future dreams for you. You just got me like no one else did. It was something I had dreamed of since I was a little girl and to have you as my first, you checked all of the boxes. Seeing you happy made me happy and grateful you were mine. Your cheeser smile, contagious laughter, and even your high pitched screams taught me how to open my eyes and live differently. Our conversations we have on the daily are some I will forever cherish.
Evelyn, you are so wise, funny, sassy, and caring. You make me want to live my life to its fullest and never take a moment for granted. You make me want to be better, and love like you do. You my dear are my best friend and I hope we can continue to keep our relationship that way. Please never forget how much I love you and how much we need each other. Yes, you are going to be a big sister very soon, but that doesn't mean that my love for you will ever decrease. I have watched you blossom and fall in love with you baby sister already, and it makes my heart flutter. It is hard to imagine what our simple life will be like in just 4.5 weeks with a new baby. Will I love her as much as you? Of course, but know that you have showed me how to love. You showed me how to be a Mommy, and to put your needs before mine. I am far from perfect, and sometimes I feel like I take my emotions out on you too much. Even though we scream at each other, know my love for you is large and you are nothing short of perfection. We only had two years of just Mommy and Evie, but those two years will always hold a special place in my heart. Watching you grow has been impactful, stressful, and beautiful; more importantly, the most meaningful experience in my life.
Some words of advise and what not. Since you are the first, it might seem we are a bit harsh on you, but we have no idea what we are doing. I apologize you have to be our guinea pig on parenting, but you are a taking it like a champ and always forgive us when we mess up. Don't let anyone take you for granted. You have so much potential and I know you will be the best of your time. I also know that you will be the best big sister. Don't bully her too much, show her how big your heart is, and she will love you back. You will always be my daughter, even though I will have to share my attention, you will always hold a big piece of my heart. I am excited and incredibly nervous to start over with a new baby, but as long as you are here to remind me of how to be a mom, I will not fail. You make our life so much more enjoyable and I love how close we have become. The world is your oyster and I can't wait to see how you handle life, especially with a new sister.
Remember how much I love you, now and for forever.
Always,
Your Mommy
Here are some pictures taken by someone who started out as a friend and neighbor but who now is my cousin, who we love so much!
My Sweet, Sweet Evelyn,
You recently turned two, and my heart burst with how much you have grown up. You have surpassed all my expectations as my first born and continue to amaze me. Evelyn, you are the oldest of our little family and honestly I had no idea how much I needed you. You came into my life at the perfect moment, and I wouldn't change it for the world. When Daddy and I started to try to bring you into this world, you didn't come as quick as we would have liked. However, after the loss of a previous baby, we knew you would be well worth the wait to fill our broken hearts. You changed our lives the second we found out we were pregnant with you. Looking back, I had such an easy pregnancy with you. Even after a traumatic birth, making your entrance into this crazy world, one to never forget, I fell in love with you even more the moment I saw you. Your chubby cheeks and monkey hair are just some of my favorite things from your infancy. You set high expectations for your sister though. Your first night home you slept for 6 hours straight and slept for 10 hour stretches at 4 weeks old. You were perfect.
It was a tough decision to put you in daycare for the first 9 months of your life, but honestly, that is how I feel you and I became so close. When I decided to stay at home to start a different journey and do a career change, you became the biggest joy in my life (not that you weren't before, but this was different). I was able to watch you grow, teach you things, and play with my own personal baby doll. Since it was you and me most of the time, you became my best friend, and I missed you when I had to put you to sleep. I looked forward to each and every day I was gifted to spend with you.
As my first, you taught me more than I ever knew I needed to learn. You were there for me when no one else was. You let me cuddle you, nurse you, sing (very off tune might I add) you to sleep. You let me talk about my frustrations about being an adult, going through losses, and my future dreams for you. You just got me like no one else did. It was something I had dreamed of since I was a little girl and to have you as my first, you checked all of the boxes. Seeing you happy made me happy and grateful you were mine. Your cheeser smile, contagious laughter, and even your high pitched screams taught me how to open my eyes and live differently. Our conversations we have on the daily are some I will forever cherish.
Evelyn, you are so wise, funny, sassy, and caring. You make me want to live my life to its fullest and never take a moment for granted. You make me want to be better, and love like you do. You my dear are my best friend and I hope we can continue to keep our relationship that way. Please never forget how much I love you and how much we need each other. Yes, you are going to be a big sister very soon, but that doesn't mean that my love for you will ever decrease. I have watched you blossom and fall in love with you baby sister already, and it makes my heart flutter. It is hard to imagine what our simple life will be like in just 4.5 weeks with a new baby. Will I love her as much as you? Of course, but know that you have showed me how to love. You showed me how to be a Mommy, and to put your needs before mine. I am far from perfect, and sometimes I feel like I take my emotions out on you too much. Even though we scream at each other, know my love for you is large and you are nothing short of perfection. We only had two years of just Mommy and Evie, but those two years will always hold a special place in my heart. Watching you grow has been impactful, stressful, and beautiful; more importantly, the most meaningful experience in my life.
Some words of advise and what not. Since you are the first, it might seem we are a bit harsh on you, but we have no idea what we are doing. I apologize you have to be our guinea pig on parenting, but you are a taking it like a champ and always forgive us when we mess up. Don't let anyone take you for granted. You have so much potential and I know you will be the best of your time. I also know that you will be the best big sister. Don't bully her too much, show her how big your heart is, and she will love you back. You will always be my daughter, even though I will have to share my attention, you will always hold a big piece of my heart. I am excited and incredibly nervous to start over with a new baby, but as long as you are here to remind me of how to be a mom, I will not fail. You make our life so much more enjoyable and I love how close we have become. The world is your oyster and I can't wait to see how you handle life, especially with a new sister.
Remember how much I love you, now and for forever.
Always,
Your Mommy
Here are some pictures taken by someone who started out as a friend and neighbor but who now is my cousin, who we love so much!
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