This past week has been a rough one. Although I shed many tears, I am looking up after such a hard time. It's times like these that prove to me why family is so important. Times like this also prove to me that God does live and provide miracles such as the Plan of Salvation. I know one day I will get to see all of my family again and I know that I will be able to live with God again.
My sweet Grandma B for the last few months was in and out of the hospital because of heart problems. She has always suffered from high blood pressure, had Type 2 diabetes, and survived a stroke. I loved my Grandma with all of my heart! However some of her lifestyle choices saddened me as I watcher her health decline. In May she was admitted to the hospital and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. There were things that led up to this that could have been prevented, however my family did not know how scary of a condition she was in. Every day someone from my family went up to visit her in the hospital. This was a busy time for us all and it was good for us to make the sacrifice to go up and visit her and let her know that she was loved. I was able to make it up to the hospital right before she went in to her first surgery to receive a pacemaker. After many hours, and longer than anticipated, she came out of surgery. The very next day she went back in surgery because her heart was not able to hold the pacemaker in its place to do its job. She had so much scar tissue on her heart that the doctor had a hard time finding the proper position to make her heart work again. A short time after that she was able to come home from the hospital. My Mom and my Aunt went up every day to take care of her. Whether it be taking her vitals, bathing her, or making sure she got up for the day. They made extreme sacrifices to be with her. We all thought she was getting better, but truly she was not. She relied heavily on the help of others and could barely get around with out having someone there to be by her side. It was very hard to see my Grandma like this. I made her a nutrition plan and goals to exercise. I wanted so bad for my Grandma to get well. I prayed everyday that we would know how to help her. I talked with her often about how to eat right, track her food, and make small exercises into her day.
I was fortunate enough to spend an evening with her and catch up on old times. We sat and talked for hours after I made her dinner. We then watched her favorite shows, M.A.S.H., Bewitched, and I Dream of Jeanie. Watching her laugh and tell me about her favorite episodes was quite enjoyable. I had high hopes she would get well and not relapse. Not even a week later she was back in the hospital because she had a really bad bloody nose and there was blood in her stool. Her doctor was very concerned and admitted her once again to the hospital. We then found out that sometime after she had her pacemaker put in she suffered from a heart attack. We had no idea. I made it a point to go visit her as often as I could, I knew at that time her time with us would be cut short. I told her I loved her every time I saw her and I told her to come home. She was improving. She stayed in the hospital for a week and came home on July 3 doing very well. She looked happy and ready. At least that is what we thought.
The very next day she called my Mom and said she was not feeling well and that she should come up. My Mom did so and along with my Aunt missed our family BBQ because she was very ill. My Aunt later came up and let the family know that she had collapsed a few times and was in bed. She was probably not going to make it another week. They had decided to put her on Hospice to make her feel better until she was no longer able to live. My cousins and I went and watched fireworks and then we all went up to say good-bye to Grandma. As I walked in to my Grandma's room, she was laying on her bed in her favorite Disney nightgown. There was a nurse trying to take vitals and make sure she was comfortable. She had a huge smile on her face as I walked on the side of the bed so that she could see me. She said, "It's my Kace! I knew you would come!" She started telling the nurse stories (of what she could remember) about her grandchildren. I told myself to not get emotional, I didn't know that this would be the last time she would ever say my name. I went over to her and gave her the biggest hug ever and told her that I loved her and to get a good night's sleep. She grabbed my hand and said, "Kacey I love you too, I know you will go far in life. Be strong and thank you for helping me." As I walked downstairs, I was filled with peace and left to go home.
The next morning, I got out of the shower and saw that my mom had asked if I could come up to say goodbye one more time. In the middle of the night my Grandma slipped into a coma and was literally taking her last breaths. I quickly put on some clothes and with soaking wet hair I made it to my Grandma's house full of emotion. They had moved her into another room in a hospital bed. I went up to her and let her know that I was there and that I loved her. Since she was in a coma there was no response except moaning. My Grandma was not there, it was not her. Her warm smile and laugh was not in the room. Everyone was there. One by one each member of my family came to say goodbye. There were lots of tears that morning. We all thought she would pass on within the hour. My Grandma, as stubborn as she is, would not let go. We couldn't figure out on why she was holding on. Hours went by. We all stayed in there talking of memories and looking and pictures she had snapped of us while we were young. Slowly she was declining, and each hour worsened. Finally my sister Courtney arrived little after 1:15pm ish. At this point my Grandma was slowly letting go. Surrounded by her family my Grandma took her last breath at 1:40pm. We all wept and knew that it was time. It was very hard for all of us to see her go the way she did, but we also knew that she was no longer in pain. Around her bed we decided to say a prayer. I have never felt the spirit so strong. I literally felt my Heavenly Father's arms around me as I was filled with sorrow and grief. As I kissed my Grandma one last time, I walked out of the room knowing that I would see her again. I know that she was greeted by her sweet husband, my Grandpa, who died when I was just six days old. What a joyous reunion that must have been. I wish I could have seen that. I am so, so grateful that I have the knowledge and testimony that I will be able to see her again. Yes it saddens me that she is gone, but it brings peace to me that she is out of pain. She is probably jumping in heaven, being her happy, spontaneous self. I love you Grandma B. tell Grandpa we love him too. I can't wait to see you again... I am so proud to be your granddaughter. All though you have passed on, your memory will live on and the love you shared with everyone will be remembered. Thank you for all of the days that we spent together and the memories we have made.
My sweet Grandma B for the last few months was in and out of the hospital because of heart problems. She has always suffered from high blood pressure, had Type 2 diabetes, and survived a stroke. I loved my Grandma with all of my heart! However some of her lifestyle choices saddened me as I watcher her health decline. In May she was admitted to the hospital and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. There were things that led up to this that could have been prevented, however my family did not know how scary of a condition she was in. Every day someone from my family went up to visit her in the hospital. This was a busy time for us all and it was good for us to make the sacrifice to go up and visit her and let her know that she was loved. I was able to make it up to the hospital right before she went in to her first surgery to receive a pacemaker. After many hours, and longer than anticipated, she came out of surgery. The very next day she went back in surgery because her heart was not able to hold the pacemaker in its place to do its job. She had so much scar tissue on her heart that the doctor had a hard time finding the proper position to make her heart work again. A short time after that she was able to come home from the hospital. My Mom and my Aunt went up every day to take care of her. Whether it be taking her vitals, bathing her, or making sure she got up for the day. They made extreme sacrifices to be with her. We all thought she was getting better, but truly she was not. She relied heavily on the help of others and could barely get around with out having someone there to be by her side. It was very hard to see my Grandma like this. I made her a nutrition plan and goals to exercise. I wanted so bad for my Grandma to get well. I prayed everyday that we would know how to help her. I talked with her often about how to eat right, track her food, and make small exercises into her day.
I was fortunate enough to spend an evening with her and catch up on old times. We sat and talked for hours after I made her dinner. We then watched her favorite shows, M.A.S.H., Bewitched, and I Dream of Jeanie. Watching her laugh and tell me about her favorite episodes was quite enjoyable. I had high hopes she would get well and not relapse. Not even a week later she was back in the hospital because she had a really bad bloody nose and there was blood in her stool. Her doctor was very concerned and admitted her once again to the hospital. We then found out that sometime after she had her pacemaker put in she suffered from a heart attack. We had no idea. I made it a point to go visit her as often as I could, I knew at that time her time with us would be cut short. I told her I loved her every time I saw her and I told her to come home. She was improving. She stayed in the hospital for a week and came home on July 3 doing very well. She looked happy and ready. At least that is what we thought.
The very next day she called my Mom and said she was not feeling well and that she should come up. My Mom did so and along with my Aunt missed our family BBQ because she was very ill. My Aunt later came up and let the family know that she had collapsed a few times and was in bed. She was probably not going to make it another week. They had decided to put her on Hospice to make her feel better until she was no longer able to live. My cousins and I went and watched fireworks and then we all went up to say good-bye to Grandma. As I walked in to my Grandma's room, she was laying on her bed in her favorite Disney nightgown. There was a nurse trying to take vitals and make sure she was comfortable. She had a huge smile on her face as I walked on the side of the bed so that she could see me. She said, "It's my Kace! I knew you would come!" She started telling the nurse stories (of what she could remember) about her grandchildren. I told myself to not get emotional, I didn't know that this would be the last time she would ever say my name. I went over to her and gave her the biggest hug ever and told her that I loved her and to get a good night's sleep. She grabbed my hand and said, "Kacey I love you too, I know you will go far in life. Be strong and thank you for helping me." As I walked downstairs, I was filled with peace and left to go home.
The next morning, I got out of the shower and saw that my mom had asked if I could come up to say goodbye one more time. In the middle of the night my Grandma slipped into a coma and was literally taking her last breaths. I quickly put on some clothes and with soaking wet hair I made it to my Grandma's house full of emotion. They had moved her into another room in a hospital bed. I went up to her and let her know that I was there and that I loved her. Since she was in a coma there was no response except moaning. My Grandma was not there, it was not her. Her warm smile and laugh was not in the room. Everyone was there. One by one each member of my family came to say goodbye. There were lots of tears that morning. We all thought she would pass on within the hour. My Grandma, as stubborn as she is, would not let go. We couldn't figure out on why she was holding on. Hours went by. We all stayed in there talking of memories and looking and pictures she had snapped of us while we were young. Slowly she was declining, and each hour worsened. Finally my sister Courtney arrived little after 1:15pm ish. At this point my Grandma was slowly letting go. Surrounded by her family my Grandma took her last breath at 1:40pm. We all wept and knew that it was time. It was very hard for all of us to see her go the way she did, but we also knew that she was no longer in pain. Around her bed we decided to say a prayer. I have never felt the spirit so strong. I literally felt my Heavenly Father's arms around me as I was filled with sorrow and grief. As I kissed my Grandma one last time, I walked out of the room knowing that I would see her again. I know that she was greeted by her sweet husband, my Grandpa, who died when I was just six days old. What a joyous reunion that must have been. I wish I could have seen that. I am so, so grateful that I have the knowledge and testimony that I will be able to see her again. Yes it saddens me that she is gone, but it brings peace to me that she is out of pain. She is probably jumping in heaven, being her happy, spontaneous self. I love you Grandma B. tell Grandpa we love him too. I can't wait to see you again... I am so proud to be your granddaughter. All though you have passed on, your memory will live on and the love you shared with everyone will be remembered. Thank you for all of the days that we spent together and the memories we have made.
Go Forth and Do!!!!
This is a sweet post Kacey!
ReplyDelete